


Why Do We Fall?

by ChibiPanda



Series: Sweeter Than Sugar [6]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Deals with Woojin's departure, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Language, Medical Emergency, Medical Inaccuracies, Pain, Sadness, Though he is IN this - you'll get it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-01-25 23:10:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21364201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiPanda/pseuds/ChibiPanda
Summary: 'It took another moment for his body to go limp after his vision left. His mind had shut off before then, so he didn’t feel any pain as his body collided with the half pulled out chair beside him. Didn’t feel the cheap wood dig into his stomach and collar. Didn’t feel his nose bash against the blonde wood, certainly didn’t feel the sudden warm trickle of blood that ran from it. Jisung didn’t feel his glasses fall off, or the notebook slide onto him, or the floor he landed on.'The sudden stress and change cause everything to spiral a bit farther than they had before...
Series: Sweeter Than Sugar [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1171142
Comments: 104
Kudos: 416





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So---yeah this happened. I hope it is a good addition to the Sugar AU. But it certainly is a bit darker than the others have been.
> 
> Thanks for the suggestions on the previous installments~This one is for you <3

Things had been stable, solid, unshakable. Everything, from their daily lives, was unmoving, unbending, and unscratchable. They were so good at reading each other and caring for each other that rarely did things fall through the cracks or get overlooked. 

They had been tethered together since day one, or at least that is how it felt. Tethered, tied, connected, fated, all of it.

It was ironic -- not the funny irony, no, it was that dark irony like someone gifting you a dog collar the day after you had to say goodbye to your best friend. But it was ironic.

Being tethered. 

When things first started, there was a rope tied painfully tight around each of their middles. A rope latched to each of them and secured somewhere above them, before them, at the point of debut. The rope was knotted so tight none of them could have untied them if they’d wanted. Only JYP held the scissors that could sever those ropes; he did; he tried.

Except the other’s reflexes were quick and determined. Catching the frayed bits of Minho’s rope. Catching the loose waves of Felix’s clothes. Grabbing hold of the fabric, the hair, their skin, anything to prevent them from plummeting away.

Now, of course, the ropes were gone, maybe they had become too complacent -- too assuming, too comfortable -- that those ropes might _only_ be hidden.

They weren’t.

There wasn’t anything they could do. They tried -- oh how they tried.

A hiatus 

It would have to be far too long.

_‘Other groups have done that! Members on hiatus for years…’_

_‘Yeah, but...they normally leave anyway Channie…they might come back once, but it doesn’t last,’_

_‘Not all of them! Woojin not all of them!’ _Chan had insisted again and again -- and each time Woojin looked more tired and more pained. 

In the end, no amount of troubleshooting or thinking could solve the problem.

It was funny really. The group had always been so good at noticing when each other were struggling, that the remaining eight focused on each other so much they couldn’t actually see the problems arising. 

Couldn’t see the forest through the trees maybe -- couldn’t see the damage through the pain.

For as hyper-aware of each other as they were, they were also oblivious.

No one noticed Chan’s lack of sleep.

No one noticed Minho’s constant movement.

No one noticed Changbin’s silent anger.

No one noticed Felix’s new found obsession with perfection.

No one noticed Seungmin’s sudden silence.

No one noticed Jeongin’s snappy attitude.

No one noticed Jisung’s lack of appetite.

Or if they noticed they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything.

The only thing they noticed was Woojin’s absence and their collective pain.

It was three in the morning, Changbin had left in a fit of anger hours ago -- furious that Chan planned on staying at the studio again.

_‘You are gonna fucking die! Don’t you get that! You can’t just kill yourself!’_

_‘You don’t get to speak to me --”_

_‘What? Like I care?’ _Changbin had practically screamed. His face had gone so red, Jisung was worried he’d burst, _‘because I do. So --’_

_‘Binnie,’ _Chan was defeated now, no longer matching Changbin’s volume, _‘listen, we are all just -- struggling, alright? It’s gonna take time. We need to be --’_

_‘There for each other?’ _Changbin’s words still boiled, _‘then why the _fuck _are you planning on working through the night again?’ _he didn’t wait for a response, he didn’t bid them a good night, he didn’t look at Chan again, he didn’t even glance at Jisung. Changbin just grabbed his things with a flourish and was gone. 

Chan sighed, it wasn’t defeated so much as tired -- spent, _‘he’s just hurting Ji Ji. He didn’t mean any of it. We’ll get through this.’_

_‘I know Hyung,’ _Jisung mumbled quietly. Quietly because Chan was right, they would get through it. And quietly because Chan was wrong, Changbin meant it -- Chan would work himself to death if someone didn’t stop him, _‘I know…’_

Chan had stopped after that and continued to work for a bit longer, before standing again. Clearly bothered by Changbin’s outburst more than he wanted Jisung to know, _‘I’m gonna go and check our usual rooms...make sure all the others are home and resting...then, uh, I’ll…’ _be tapered off.

_‘Go home?’_

_‘Yeah...yeah, I guess… You?’ _Normally there wouldn’t have even been a question. You didn’t work later than Chan -- if he called it quits that meant everyone did.

_‘No. I have a good groove going. I’m gonna work a bit longer,’_

There had been no ‘make sure you eat.’ No ‘you should come home.’ No ‘don’t stay too long.’ Just a tired smile and a, _‘love ya Ji.’ _muttered into the door as Chan left.

That happened at eleven-thirty-six. It was now three in the morning, and Jisung continued to scribble out lyrics -- maybe poems or perhaps thoughts would be a better definition -- in the solitude of their silent studio. 

He hadn’t received any messages, not that he knew of anyway, his phone had been off since the morning before. No one had come knocking. No one had noticed.

To be fair of course, Jisung didn’t notice either. When everything started being discussed -- when the situation had really started to unravel -- he’d only just become accustomed to checking his blood sugar without a reminder and even then he still forgot some mornings. Normally, Jeongin would remind him with a pillow to the face -- or Felix would, forcing a spoonful of yogurt into his mouth before saying ‘hello.’

Granted, his current situation was not the fault of Jeongin or Felix. It wasn’t Changbin’s fault for storming off. It wasn’t Chan’s for being distracted. It wasn’t Minho’s -- it wasn’t Hyunjin’s -- it wasn’t Seungmin’s --

It certainly wasn’t Woojin’s fault. Woojin had been left with no choice -- literally, no options -- leaving was the only thing possible…

Jisung’s current situation was most certainly his fault. He wasn’t a child. He knew he needed to manage his blood sugar -- knew he needed to check it -- knew he needed to eat regularly. At the very least, he should have noticed the constant jitter that started wracking his body nearly an hour ago.

If not that, then he should have noticed the light pulse that ran through his brain. Or maybe he should have noticed the haze that had been expanding -- first in his mind and now fluttering about his vision. He should have noticed the growing numbness and confusion.

He didn’t. Blood sugar didn’t even cross his mind. 

The clock on the wall read four-fifteen and Jisung stood.

For a split second, there was a moment of clarity -- a split second in which he recognized the problem -- a split second of utter regret.

For a fleeting moment, Jisung was aware of how dire this situation had just become. He would probably die here -- momentarily forgotten on the studio floor because of his own foolishness and the group’s grief. It was Sunday. Someone might come for him in a few hours -- far too late to save his life… He’d probably be discovered Monday morning; cold; stiff. 

And then there would have to be another statement. 

Darkness took his vision and brought him back into the utter oblivion he’d been hovering around before he’s mind formed the complete statement the company would write -- before he could truly envision the other’s reaction.

It took another moment for his body to go limp after his vision left. His mind had shut off before then, so he didn’t feel any pain as his body collided with the half pulled out chair beside him. Didn’t feel the cheap wood dig into his stomach and collar. Didn’t feel his nose bash against the blonde wood, certainly didn’t feel the sudden warm trickle of blood that ran from it. Jisung didn’t feel his glasses fall off, or the notebook slide onto him, or the floor he landed on.

*~*~*~*~*

Comebacks were rough, they always had been, and they only seemed to get harder as the years went by. That might be because they were getting older -- no longer the young group they were back in 2014 when they had debuted -- or maybe it was just because they were so much busier now.

Jackson constantly overseas. Mark and Bam Bam with their endless photo shoots and modeling. Jaebum was writing more often than not anymore. Youngjae seemed to practice more now than he did before they’d debuted. Yugyeom would be more famous than them all one day. All of them composing at times.

And Jinyoung himself was still deep into his pursuit of acting. Thankfully with the support of his members and friends. 

Or maybe this comeback seemed harder because this was the first one in a few years that literally had them up all night. Sure they’d spent long -- very long -- days during their last comebacks perfecting the dance and recording but this was the first legitimate all-nighter that GOT7 had done in at least two years. 

It could also just be that Jackson was with them, and therefore the energy was up by a hundred percent.

Regardless of the reasonings, Jinyoung was glad for the break. He needed water, maybe some caffeine, it was still too early for breakfast; four-seventeen if the digital clock in the elevator was to be trusted.

The hall was dark, which was to be expected, and the vending machines brighten the corner with their odd neon glow. 

The other end of the hall was dark too, except for the harsh light beaming out from the small window a few doors down the way. 

Jinyoung scowled concerned, this hall was almost exclusively used by Stray Kids -- Stray Kids who, according to Bam Bam, should not be working;

_‘I swear Hyung if I so much as see a flash of Chris’s damaged blonde hair I’m gonna murder him!’_ Bam Bam had ranted half-heartedly much earlier, equal parts concern and care.

“That’s definitely Channie’s studio…” Jinyoung mumbled wearily, pulling his phone out and clicking the button. It was four-twenty, so interrupting them seemed justified -- probably needed considering everything that had happened over the last few days. He pocketed his phone once more and with a small puff -- not really a sigh, he was too tired for that -- he walked the short distance.

The room was silent, but Jinyoung knocked anyway. Loudly, in case whoever was within had their headphones on. When no response came, he knocked again. When the silence continued, he craned his head and glanced through the window -- the room was empty. And he nearly turned and left without pause -- but the light bothered him. 

The door was unlocked, the door well oiled, and it slid open effortlessly.

When Bam Bam had first mentioned Chris’s fears, first mentioned that Stray Kids’ member Han Jisung -- the loudmouth, soft-hearted, ace -- had passed out once and that he now had medication in case of emergencies, Jinyoung demanded all of GOT7 know how to help if needed. 

It hadn’t been noble or caring really, it seemed like common sense. Most people know that cuts bled less if you applied pressure -- that bad allergies sometimes needed special medicine. So it was logical that he, and the others, knew how to help Jisung if the occasion ever arose.

Jinyoung never thought it would, however. Why would it? In what situation would Jisung be with anyone other than Stray Kids…

Yet here he was, “Jisung-ah?” he stood there for far too long, not unsure but stunted, before finally moving forward, “Hey, Jisung-ah, can you hear me?” he shook the unconscious boy harshly, unable to control the sudden spike of adrenaline that ravaged through him, “Okay...okay...there has…”

Jinyoung pulled away quickly, eyes darting around the room with unwanted urgency.

“Jinyoung~~”

“Seunie! Get your phone out!” Jinyoung spotted the shiny red plastic as he shouted, clumsily standing -- bumping into the table and a chair as he went for the box, “Jackson! I need you to call an ambulance!” 

“What?!” 

“Okay, Jisung-ah...it’s okay… Jackson!” Jinyoung screamed again, already shakily preparing the liquid.

“Jin--,” the words died as Jackson barreled around the corner, “Okay, yeah...911, on it…”

“Yeah...good,” the words weren’t really meant for Jackson. Jinyoung forced the shake to stop and carefully pulled the elastic waistband on Jisung’s sweats down enough to reveal his upper thigh -- after quickly reading the printed instructions. He managed to clean the area without shaking, and sucking in a deep yet shallow breath, pushed the needle into the spot and forced the liquid into Jisung’s thigh.

“-ow, but yes he’s breathing…” Jackson’s voice came back into focus, “We gave him one of his shots, yes. But I don’t think there is a second in that case -- might be one in the dance studio -- do you think he’ll need it before you get here?” he listened closely, “Yes. Understood.” he pulled away from the phone slightly, “Message the others and have one of them open the door for the EMTs.”

Jinyoung blinked blindly for a moment, “right…” he tossed the used needle back into the open box for the time being and messaged Bam Bam -- he was the last contact he’d messaged, “come on Jisungie....come on…”

Jackson stood, the phone still tight to his ear, and dashed out the door leaving Jinyoung alone again.

Shaking again, Jinyoung pulled his sweatshirt sleeve down past his hand and carefully wiped the still wet blood from Jisung’s nose, “Come on Jisungie, you need to wake up for me,”

“Jinyoung,” Jackson slid to his knees, his phone no longer on his ear nor in his hand. Instead, another red box, “They said, if he isn’t conscious in a few minutes,” he panted harshly, “to give him another dose.”

“Right...okay, yeah…”

The elevator dinged from the hallway and Bam Bam’s English increased in volume shortly thereafter, “I have no idea Chris. No, I told you I just got a message from Jinyoung-hyung...no...wait...breathe,” Bam Bam appeared wide-eyed, “shit...no not, it’s fine Chris…”

“He needs another dose. Jinyoung? You gotta move so I can do it,” 

“What? Right...right,” Jinyoung pulled away and watched Jackson repeat the steps he’d done minutes ago -- how long ago? It was already four-thirty-six… where did the time go?

“Chris, I don’t,” Bam Bam seemed lost too.

“Give me the phone,” Jinyoung managed softly, careful to not get Jisung’s blood on the device, “Channie, it’s Jinyoung --”

“Hyung! What happened? Is...I thought he was home and,”

“Shhh. Deep breathes,” Jinyoung tried to sound calm, he was watching Jisung just like the others, “I found him in your studio on the ground. I don’t,” he faulted slightly, “I don’t know when he passed out, but we’ve given him two shots already and called for an ambulance, alright? I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

There was a devastating whimper through the phone and undesirable voices in the background, “Is he awake?”

Jinyoung’s silence clearly gave Chan an answer, because the next sound was just an ugly sob and more desperate voices.

“Hey, Channie. I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Jinyoung tried to sound reassuring, but it was hard. Beside him Jackson was stoic, one hand clearly holding tight to Jisung’s pulse, and Bam Bam, no longer a child but clearly just as unsure and scared as one would have been. And then in his ear the horrified sobs of Chan and endless cries from the other members, “I’m sure...he’ll be fine…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two! There you go -- I hope you enjoy <3

Changbin was already asleep -- or pretending to be -- when Chan returned to the dorms. The others seemed to be closed in their respective bedrooms; a blessing. 

While Chan understood where Changbin’s anger had come from, even agree with some of it, he really didn’t want to deal with anyone else. At least not until the morning. He’d run into Minho -- who’d been dancing aggressively a few floors below their studio -- and just managed to convince the dancer to return with him; neither spoke on the short walk home. Minho had dashed into his bedroom before Chan could decide what he wanted to say.

The last few days had been a disaster; his disaster.

Chan gave Changbin one last glance, muttering a near-silent, “I’m sorry Binnie…” before falling into his bed. Sleep came, for once, with ease.

“Hyung...Channie-hyung!” Changbin’s voice was gravelly and sleep-filled, “Answer your phone,” he added with a whine, “hyung, answer it!”

The music blasting from the nearby phone was annoying, and Chan with an uncoordinated hand dismissed the call, “sorry...it’s just,” he smacked his lips silently, already falling back to sleep, “just BamBam…”

Changbin made some nose of recognition, but it was lost to the renewed silence.

And then the phone rang again.

“Shit Bam…” Chan muttered as Changbin whined again, “BamBam what?!” his English voice deeper and less aggravated than he intended it to be but clear nonetheless.

“Just hang up, hyung…”

“Chris, Jinyoung-hyung found Jisung unconscious --”

“What?” Chan shot up in bed, earning another complaint, “He was, I don’t --” 

“Chris just listen,” BamBam sounded out of breath, “Hyung messaged me about opening the door for an ambulance and that Jisung was unconscious. I don’t know anything else --”

“In the studio…”

“What about the studio?” Changbin was also sitting up now, clearly understanding the one side of the English conversation with ease.

“Yes. I’m with Yugyeomie and Mark to open th --”

“Go to the studio!” Chan hadn’t meant to shout, probably shouldn’t have been able to with his body still riddled with sleep, but did anyway, “please, go, go and, and check!”

“Chris, Jackson and Ji --”

“Please!”

“Alright yeah, hold on,” BamBam’s voice faded a bit as he switched to Korean, “...wants me to go check...keep the doors open...you too…” then came back fully in English, “Okay, Chris I’m going. Alright? I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“Jisung...he...he might, probably needs his medicine…” Chan fumbled out quickly as the bedroom door swung open.

“We know Chris. We know, okay? I’m sure Jinyoung-hyung has already done that, okay?”

“What do you mean?” Felix’s squeaked in panic. 

“Where is Jisungie-hyung?”

“What? He wasn’t asleep?”

“No...I, no.. he --”

Chan tuned them out, or tried to, “BamBam, how is he? Is he alright? He’s awake? Right?”

“I’m just getting there, dude. I have no idea, Chris.” Chan wanted to interrupt again, but BamBam cut him off, “Wait. No, I told you I just got a message from Jinyoung-hyung...no...wait...breathe,” BamBam’s voice faltered and Chan felt himself panic more -- a chain effect, the others were too, “shit…”

“What!? What is --”

“No, not, it’s fine Chris…”

“BamBam what? What is happening?”

“Chris, I don’t,” BamBam suddenly seemed lost too.

“BamBam!” Chan heard a shuffle.

“Hyung what’s going on?”

“Is Jisungie alright?”

“He’s fine, he’s -- he’s gotta be…”

“Channie-hyung --”

“Guys stop please!” Minho shouted in frustration, “Just… let him listen…” 

“Channie, it’s Jinyoung --”

“Hyung! What happened? Is...I thought he was home and,” Chan wasn’t sure if he was speaking Korean or not at this point; everything was so blended together.

“Shhh. Deep breaths,” Chan tried to follow Jinyoung’s directions, tried to listen, tried to follow, “I found him in your studio on the ground. I don’t,” Jinyoung stuttered slightly, “I don’t know when he passed out, but we’ve given him two shots already and called for an ambulance, alright? I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

Chan couldn’t help but whimper at that. He’d left Jisung there, hadn’t he? Left him there without a second thought. His fucking fault, “Is he awake?”

The silence broke him.

And his sob broke the others; Felix already unconsolable; Hyunjin close to it; Changbin pale and silent; Jeongin shell-shocked; Seumgmin lingering somewhere between tears and screams; and Minho, desperate to hold it together.

“Hey, Channie. I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’m sure...he’ll be fine…”

His members were crying and asking questions; Jinyoung was trying to console him, to reassure him; but all Chan could do was sob. Painful, deep, devastating sobs.

“Hyung hey,” Minho had pulled Chan into a hug and slipped the phone out from his hands, “Everything will be alright.” He passed the phone to Changbin -- who looked as though he’d be sick any minute -- and started to sway slowly, “We’ll fix this, okay? Just...don't cry.”

Changbin was saying something into the phone, jaw clenched painfully whenever he silenced.

All the members, lost -- lost within the room, within the dorm… Something that wasn’t even supposed to happen.

“It will be okay, Hyung,” Minho continued slowly.

“Someone,” Chan tried to speak, having to stop and swallow back another crack, “Someone should message Woojin...he...he won’t be able to come...but he’d...he’d want to know…”

“Yeah...yeah, I’ll do that. I’ll do that right now!” Seungmin brightened at the task, needing something to do -- anything to do -- and turned to leave the room before anyone else could offer.

“Okay...thank you Jinyoung-hyung...could you...could someone go with him...please,” Changbin pleaded quietly from the corner, “thank you…” he added wetly. “Jinyoung-hyung is going to go with Ji to the...uh…he’s gonna go with him. The ambulance got there…”

“Right,” Chan manages to croak out, “we need to, some of us need to go there,” he tried to pull away from Minho, but the dancer refused to lessen his hold, “I...don’t want to call management but,”

“I’ll do it,” Seungmin had appeared again, looking much calmer than when he had left, “I’ll call our manager and see -- get us a cab or something if I need to,” he turned back into the hallway again.

“This is bad…” Hyunjin whispered, harshly rubbing his eyes with his sleeve, “really really bad…” 

“No shit,” Changbin growled.

“Bi --”

“No shit it is bad…” Changbin repeated, but with far less bite -- it was filled with loathing, internalized loathing, “They had to give him two doses...two doses! And he didn’t fucking wake up! Didn’t even --”

“Changbin --” Minho tried to interrupt but Changbin effortlessly ignored him.

“-- fucking move! So no shit it’s bad --”

“Changbin-hyung, stop! Please just stop…” Jeongin screamed angrily, “Just stop already! We know!” 

“Do you? Does anyone actually fucking know? Has anyone looked up what can happen?!” The rage was now breaking down around the edges, crumbling into painfilled agony, “he could literally be dying right now … because … like deep in a coma … never to … fuck…” he scrubbed his eyes roughly and Chan’s phone fell to the floor.

“Uh…” Seungmin had returned again, ashen after the outburst, “the car will be here in five minutes...they don’t want more than three of us to go…”

“Chan-hyung and Changbin-ah need to stay,” the arguments started the second Minho said it, but he shushed them, “neither of you are in any state to go. Hyung’s barely slept at all, Changbin’s furious, and both of you are unconsolable. If...:” Minho sighed into Chan’s hair, still rocking slightly, “if the media catches wind of this, the last thing they need is video of our members falling apart at the seams… They’ll,” he sighed again, “already be having a field day with Jisung’s illness, we can’t give them any more ammunition.”

Neither Chan nor Changbin could respond and the others seemed too engrossed in thought to make comments either, so Minho tried to continue, “I don’t mean… I just think it might be best…”

“You’re right,” Chan coughed, “No, you are right… if the press is there, I should be...but I --”

“Can’t,” Changbin sniffed and fiercely rubbed his eyes again, “we can’t…” 

“Who’s… the calmest?” Chan asked as he pulled back from Minho, “Minho-ah is going, you have to.”

Minho nodded slowly, glancing up at the others. Seungmin looked antsy, Jeongin looked ill, Felix looked terrified, Hyunjin looked distraught -- he was sure he matched in some way, “Yeah, I’ll go. Sure. I’ll take good care of Ji, don’t you or Binnie worry about that at all.”

“I,” Felix’s voice cracked, “would like to go. I know we would all like to go, but I think I can do it.”

“I can’t… I want to… I really really want to… but I just,” Seungmin cut himself off, “I’ll stay here. Make sure Chan-hyung and Binnie-hyung are both good -- keep Woojin-hyung informed.” he nodded slowly, mostly to himself. “I can do that.” 

Hyunjin and Jeongin stayed quiet for a few moments longer, looking at each other intently, before Jeongin finally broke the silence, “You go Hyung… as long as you all keep us updated… I think you should go… If you want…”

Hyunjin simply pulled Jeongin into a tight hug.

“Right. So ‘lixie, Hyunjinie, and I will go -- Seungmin will take care of things here and keep our big bro informed,” Minho forced some humor, with moderate success, “Channie-hyung, Binnie, I know you won’t -- probably can’t -- but would you try to rest. Eat something. Just lounge around. Please… no working, just resting. For me?”

Chan gave a defeated nodded.

“Yeah,” the raspiness in Changbin’s voice was harsh, but he’d managed to stop the tears, “we’ll do that for you…”

“Good. Thank you,” Minho hugged Chan again whispering, “I’ll look after him,” before repeating it with Changbin.

The three had just enough time to grab their coats before meeting their manager at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I will try to get the next chapter up next weekend, but it might be delayed some -- trying to finish NaNo and stuff. I hope the wait isn't too long.
> 
> Have a wonderful week <3 <3 <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it!!! It is not the best and I do apologize, but NaNo is over and I should be back to fanfics fulltime which should improve things. Regardless, thank you so much for coming by ~~ Much love!

Jinyoung had already intended to go with Jisung, or at least have one of the others go with him before Changbin begged -- he’d decided he was going with Jisung from the moment he found the kid. That’s just the kind of person he was. Just like he knew Jackson was going to want to -- just like he knew Bam Bam was going to feel as though he needed to -- just like he knew Jaebum was going to feel responsible and try to.

Jinyoung knew his group well -- he didn’t know Stray Kids as well, but he knew them well enough to empathize with them. He could imagine how hard the last week had been -- how terrifying this must be.

He remembers hearing about the car accident Jackson had in China -- he remembers his heart dropping when Jaebum hurt his back. He got it.

But this was different. He’d known it was different from the moment he touched Jisung.

The Stray Kids’ rapper was pale, his heart rate was sporadic, his skin was clammy, he was not okay. 

For a fleeting moment, Jinyoung thought the shot -- the first one -- was going to be the magic fix. That Jisung would suddenly sit up, smile bashfully, and that would be that. Except that’s not what happened.

The EMTs weren’t telling Jinyoung anything. They’d been quick, carefully getting Jisung onto a stretcher, getting him out of the building, getting him into the ambulance, hooking him up to machines and IVs.

But Jinyoung still didn’t know what was going on.

But he was there. He was watching over Jisung just as he had promised.

The ride to the hospital was quick and the waiting room was empty. Jinyoung felt out of place all of a sudden, waiting for news on a kid he barely knew -- hoped he’d get to know.

“Stop that,” he scrubbed his face with his hands and brought out his phone. Jaebum had asked him to keep them informed and he’d gotten a message from Seungmin informing him that Minho and a couple others were on their way. 

Jinyoung already had three messages from Bam Bam as well – he did know Jisung pretty well and was clearly feeding off of Chan’s reaction – and another five; two from Jackson and two from Mark. And one from Chan.

\--Thank you--

Jinyoung sighed into his hands quietly, unsure of how to respond to that; it was easy to send a few back to his members.

“You came in with Han Jisung, correct?”

With a small start, Jinyoung glanced up at the older woman standing before him, “Yes. I, yeah I did.”

She paused, glancing down at her clipboard, “He was unconscious when you found him, yes? And do you have any idea for how long?” a shake, “Okay, and he received two doses of glycogen, correct?”

“Yes… about ten-fifteen minutes apart,”

“Alright. And before that, do you know when he had last eaten or had something to drink? Or if he had used any of his supplements today?”

“No… I just found him. Uh,” Jinyoung was normally articulate, poised, but he was faltering. Fiddling with his phone slightly, he continued to speak nervously, “Minho – Jisungie’s close friends, roommates, will be here soon. They might know…”

“Alright,” she glanced down once more, “He is being assessed at the moment, so I’m afraid there isn’t much information I can give you at this time –”

“Is he awake?” Jinyoung found himself interrupting, then adding softly, “sorry,”

“Sir, I really can’t –”

“I, I just wanna know if he is awake,”

She sighed, “No, he was still unconscious at the time the examination began,” sensing the change in mood, she continued, “But as I said, we’ll know more once the doctors have finished the initial examination. One last question, by chance, you mentioned his roommates were coming, would a Christopher Bang or a Seo Changbin be among them?”

“No, actually…they didn’t handle this well and, uh…”

“I see, do you have up to date contact information for either of those two – or would you be willing to contact them? They are both listed as guardians in the event of an emergency and out contact numbers seem to be out of date.”

“Yeah, here I’ll give you their numbers, but uh... let me, can I contact them?” Jinyoung quickly pulled his phone up and gave her the information, “They, they won’t have to come, will they?”

She hesitated, “We’ll likely need them, or one of them, to be here, yes. If the doctor decides that he is in need of treatment beyond the normal triage, if he doesn’t regain consciousness, they’ll need to make medical decisions for Jisung.”

_If he doesn’t wake up… _Jinyoung’s brain provided darkly, and he sent a text warning Minho what he was walking into and then a careful one to Seungmin explaining that Chan or Changbin had to come.

~*~*~*~*~

Seungmin was making tea when his phone chimed, he’d been expecting Woojin – who’d been rather frantic since the first message, desperate to know what was happening, wanting updates –

“_I, I can go to the hospital, Seungminie. No one will notice. He needs people there…” _Woojin had sounded so desperate and distraught during the early morning phone call, Seungmin was concerned their eldest hadn’t even slept.

_“You _can’t _Hyung…It would cause so many questions…rumors…you can’t…” _oh how Seungmin had wished Woojin could.

But it wasn’t Woojin, it was Jinyoung. Which wasn’t surprising either.

“Damn…”

“What is it Hyung?” Jeongin questioned fearfully, he had been wandering up and down the small hallway since the others left.

“Don’t worry about it Jeonginie. Can you watch the kettle for me?”

“Yeah, yeah sure,”

Seungmin was hesitant, Chan had been defeated and exhausted last he’d check, asleep – thanks to Minho’s prescription sleep aids – but only barely. Changbin had been marginally better, broken and self-loathing, but at least he wasn’t as checked out.

The door was opened slightly, and Seungmin slid in carefully deciding in a split second to ignore Chan entirely, “Binnie-hyung?” he cast a glance towards Chan, hoping their leader could sleep through this slight intrusion.

Changbin seemed to have similar hopes and was equally quiet and careful motioning to the door. Once they were in the hall and the door was closed he gave Seungmin a questioning look.

“It looks like you’ll have to go to the hospital too, Hyung…” Seungmin muttered quietly, “You and Chan-hyung are Sung’s legal guardians…” he didn’t finish his thoughts.

“If Sungie can’t make his own medical decisions…” Changbin finished quietly, “We, yeah, when his folks moved back to Malaysia we, Chan-hyung and I…alright, just let me grab a pair of jeans and a mask, I’ll head right there.”

“I’m sorry…I’m sure if Minho-hyung had known –“

“You don’t have to feel sorry,” Changbin said gruffly, pulling Seungmin into a quick hug before slinking back into the bedroom to gather his things. He was out again in a matter of seconds, “Minho-hyung know?”

“I, I don’t know. I don’t think they are at the hospital yet,”

Changbin nodded, lips pursed together tightly, “I wish I could tell you it will all be okay Seungminie,”

“It’s alright…”

Through another sigh, pained and exhausted, Changbin glanced back to his bedroom door, “Watch after him too. I know you can’t lie to him, but try to make sure he sleeps a full night's length before filling him in if you can…”

“Of course…”

“Okay then,” Changbin grabbed Seungmin and pulled him in a somewhat uncharacteristically affectionate hug, “I love you man,”

“I love you too, hyung…” Seungmin managed to respond thickly, “I’ll,” he swallowed, “update Woojin-hyung and stuff,”

“Right,” Changbin squeezed once more and then released, “think good thoughts, yeah…” he watched Seungmin nod and then schooled his expression as best he could before walking into the kitchen, “Jeonginie, I gotta go to the hospital. Help Seungminie take care of Chan-hyung, yeah?”

Despite his questioning eyes, Jeongin nodded and accepted his hyung’s hug without speaking a word.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. This wasn’t what was supposed to be happening to his group; to his friends; his family. They were supposed to be planning a comeback, they were supposed to be nine; not eight; god-forbid not seven, “stop you fucking idiot,” Changbin muttered silently into his mask, “just keep moving forward…forward,” he nodded once to himself and got into the first cab he could flag down. He needed to be strong, needed to brace himself to make hard decisions, needed to be there. The hospital was less than an hour away, but he knew this ride was going to be both far too long and far too short.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you found it enjoyable and not disappointing -- it should be picking up next week. <3 <3 Have a wonderful week!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a chapter! Hopefully, you all enjoy <3 <3 Thank you all for being so understanding as well <3 <3

Minho loved his friends -- his members -- dearly. When he was first rescued by Chan, offered a place in the project group, he knew he wanted to be a performer, knew he loved singing and dancing and knew he would commit one-hundred and one percent. It had been tough, and he’d been concerned throughout that time -- throughout the reality show and even a bit after -- that he just wasn’t good enough. All of the others tried to beat that out of him; metaphorically of course -- unless you count that one incident with Seungmin. But it was Jisung who had really fixed that flaw in Minho.

Unintentional perhaps, but it had really meant the world to Minho; the encouragement; the friendship; the support.

The first time Jisung had collapsed, they had all been terrified -- traumatized, though none would dare mention that to Jisung at all -- but they had been _there_. This was so much worse.

So much worse and things were so damned different.

What was Minho supposed to be now anyway? Could he still be the slightly off-kilter fun-loving dancer with the odd sense of humor? He was the second eldest now, right? Shouldn’t that mean he has to be more responsible, to step up more? Changbin will -- unprompted -- but he shouldn’t have to. That should be Minho’s job.

Or at least that was the conclusion he had come up with over the last week as he watched 3racha redo everything. Redistribute, recomposing bits to fit the different vocals, Jisung specifically practicing and perfecting his new parts -- 

_ “It needs to be perfect Hyung,”  _ Jisung had complained when Minho tried to get him to reel it in a bit, _“Stays deserve at least something equal to Woojin-hyung… and Woojin-hyung, he deserves to know that I honor those parts, Hyung. They’re _his _parts… they need to be perfect.” _the conversation had ended there.

“Hyung?”

“Huh?” the taxi ride had been really quiet, so even in his contemplative trance Minho heard Felix easily.

“I think your phone chimed, should probably check it…”

“Oh right!” reading Jinyoung’s words cut deeply, for more reasons than one, “Changbinnie will probably be joining us shortly.”

“What?” Hyunjin turned from the front to look better at them, “Shouldn’t he be resting?”

“Don’t worry about it too much Hyunjinnie. Changbin is strong and stubborn, he just wants to be there for Ji,” despite the fib, neither 2000 liners seemed to notice.

They spotted Jinyoung almost as soon as they entered the hospital waiting room. The GOT7 member looked terrible, not that Minho and the rest looked much better he was sure, “Hyung?”

His head snapped up quickly, “Hey,” Jinyoung stood and pulled each of the Stray Kids members into tight hugs before continuing, “They haven’t said anything,” he lingered near Hyunjin for a few seconds assessing the three carefully, “they hadn’t finished evaluating him yet last I asked.”

Minho nodded along quietly, “‘Lix, Hyunjinnie, why don’t you guys take a seat and I’ll go let them know we are here.”

“Okay Hyung,” Hyunjin mumbled as both he and Felix sat down beside Jinyoung.

“Minho-ah,” Jinyoung pulled the dancer to the side, “They haven’t updated me at all -- except that they need Channie or Changbin-ah to come,”

“Changbin-hyung is coming,” Minho paused for a second then attempted to bow deeply towards Jinyoung, “Truly, thank you for everything you have done today. We can’t thank you --”

“Stop, Minho, please,” Jinyoung prevented him from going too deeply, “you don’t need to thank me.”

“We do though,” _for doing our job_, “you don’t have to stay now though. GOT7 is coming back soon and you have already done far too much and --”

“I don’t have to go anyway Minho-ah. I can stay as long as you need,”

Minho smiled slightly, “You really don’t have to, but could you stay until I get back to them or until Changbinnie gets here,” he motioned with his head slightly towards the two 2000 liners, “They are alright, but we all need support, ya know?”

“Of course Minho-ah. You go let the nurse know what’s going on and I’ll stay with them,” Jinyoung smiled encouragingly, “I’ll wait until Changbin-ah is here and settled before I head out, okay? It’s really not a problem.”

Minho clenched his jaw just enough to hold back his emotion and nodded, “Thank you.” He waited a few seconds, waited for Jinyoung to find a seat between his two members, and then turned to the nursing station. It was early in the morning, the sun had yet to fully rise, and the nurse working the station was seemingly unoccupied, “Excuse me, I am here for Han Jisung -- I’m one of his friends, Lee Minho. Seo Changbin should be here shortly as well.”

She glanced up and nodded along slowly, “As soon as he is here, have him come straight up and talk to me regardless of any line alright.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Minho waited anxiously, almost fearful of asking any questions.

The nurse seemed to understand and continued, “I can’t tell you much, as you know, but Jisung-ah is stable for the moment.”

Minho opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t find words. Instead, he nodded his thanks and moved back to the others.

He did manage to mumble, “He’s stable,” to them, but even the admission did little to ease Minho’s unease.

“Is he conscious?” Hyunjin didn’t look up as he questioned. It was soft and hesitant -- and they all knew the reasons behind that.

It killed Minho that he couldn’t answer -- that he was pretty sure he knew the answer anyway -- but that was out of his control. He shrugged slightly, “She didn’t say Hyunjinnie. Have to wait for Changbinnie.”

“I’m sure he’ll be here really soon, Hyunjinnie,” Jinyoung sounded sure, comforting, “and then you’ll get all the updates you want. You just have to be patient.”

Minho watched Hyunjin and Felix nod calmly. He was proud of them. Minho was always proud of his members, but today was turning into one of the days were all he could do was be proud.

The groups lapse into silence was highlighted by the quiet of the waiting room, which remained essentially empty.

~*~*~*~

Changbin had thought he was ready to see the others -- to see Jinyoung if he was still waiting with them -- when he walked through the automatic doors leading to the hospital waiting room. But he was wrong. They didn’t notice him, a small saving grace, but the emotional response was intense and painful. A bright fire sparked and started running through his core in a second. 

Instead of greeting them, Changbin went straight to the nurse's station, “Excuse me, ma’am, my name is Seo Changbin. I’m here for Han Jisung.” 

There was a slight shift in the woman, a small decrease in tension that struck a nerve in Changbin, “Yes, thank you for coming, Changbin-shii. I’ll let the doctor know that you are here, he’ll likely call you back shortly. For now,” she glanced at the ID he handed her for verification, “I can tell you that Jisung-ah is stable -- though he has yet to regain consciousness. I know that sounds scary, but please try to remain calm until you have spoken to his doctor. He’ll have more information for you.”

Changbin nodded quietly, “I’ll be over there,” 

Jinyoung had noticed him, though his members still seemed unaware that he had arrived. 

Changbin was saved from any interaction, however, as he’d almost reached them when the nurse called his name.

“Changbin-hyung?” 

That was Hyunjin.

“Hyung?”

Felix.

“Let us know what you find out, Binnie.”

“I will Minho-hyung… I will,” Changbin didn’t look directly at anyone, already turning as he spoke. The short walk was utterly exhausting, everything was exhausting today.

“Seo Changbin?”

“Yes sir,” the doctor was around his father’s age, slightly greying but not too old, he looked tired.

The old man nodded and motioned for Changbin to follow him back to his office, “My name is doctor Lee. I was the doctor on shift when Jisung-ah was brought in,” the walk to the small office was a short one too, far too short for Changbin’s nerves, “And will continue to be his physician until he is out of intensive care. As I presume you know, Han Jisung suffers from extreme hypoglycemia. Sometime in the early morning, he lost consciousness as a result and was brought in via ambulance following the administration of two doses of glycogen.”

“Yes...I wasn’t there, but that is what happened,” Changbin tried to stay calm, wanted to be calm, but god he missed Chan and Jisung -- every one of course -- but those two, “Is Jisung alright?”

Dr. Lee was quiet for a few seconds, “We don’t believe he is in any immediate danger. We are monitoring his condition, keeping his insulin and glucose levels stable and within the normal range, and we are also watching how they fluctuate in the hopes of giving everyone a better diagnosis.”

“But?” Changbin’s asked quietly, “There is a ‘but’ isn’t there? That’s why I had to come in.”

“But, he has yet to regain consciousness and while we don’t think he is in any immediate danger of entering a coma, given his medical problems it would not be completely unexpected.”

“A coma…”

“We should know very soon if it is going in that direction,” Dr. Lee said calmly, “He needs to wake up. Ideally, in the next few hours. The longer it takes -- Again, I don’t think that is what is happening. He isn’t the average case. He has some of the classic symptoms associated with a coma induced by hypoglycemia; let’s say four of the ten primary classifiers. At this point, he seems to be stabilizing. Understand? However, we do have some things to discuss in the event of a turn.”

“To discuss…”

“Yes. I know it is a lot to take in, but I need you to make some decisions going forward; to sign off on treatment; and, regrettably, I’d like you to give me written plans should he enter a coma.”

“Written…”

Dr. Lee pat Changbin’s shoulder comfortingly, “I don’t think it will come to that, and should his parents get here soon they’ll be able to alter your decisions --”

“They probably won’t come…”

Lee paused for a few moments, “Jisung-ah doesn’t have anything officially written up for situations such as this. So, we need to have you make those decisions.”

“What to do...if…”

“Yes. I need you to make a decision on how we should handle his situation should he reach a point where we don’t think he’ll come back,” Dr. Lee spoke softly and calmly, “You don’t have to do this now. As I said, I feel he is stable. However, I would ask that if the afternoon rolls around and he has yet to wake up or improve in another way that we continue having this conversation. Perhaps with your friend Christopher Bang?” 

Changbin nodded, vacantly, “And treatment…”

“Yes, let’s have that discussion first and then you can take a break. Alright?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thanks for all the kind comments last week. I'm doing better -- it is uncomfortable to sleep at my apartment and it is still upsetting to know that my things were taken, but I'm getting there. I am in the process of moving as well -- a result of the break-in.
> 
> Anyway, I hope to get back on track with my updates soon! Thank you so much for your patients. AND for reading <3 <3 <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!! Thanks for reading!

The bathroom was empty, brightly lit, and cold, but only the first pierced through Changbin’s current haze. Empty was good. Empty meant no news articles, no stories, no documentation of his distress. He wanted to talk to Chan, to cry to his parents, cling to Jisung maybe. Except none of those were actually options right now. Chan was hopefully sleeping -- resting, drugged, anything as long as he wasn’t moving and was peaceful -- his parents couldn’t be informed, at least not until the media got wind of everything, and Jisung was…

Changbin nearly punched the mirror, his reflection looked ill -- grey and slick, before he remembered he was in a hospital. 

Jisung was fine, for now, they had decided to insert a feeding tube -- Jisung’s weight was a bit lower than the doctor wanted and since Changbin wasn’t sure when the younger had last eaten it was the best option. The younger would now always wear a medical ID bracelet -- Changbin had made an executive decision on the matter. They had decided to temporarily add a device to the younger’s chest, an automatic blood sugar monitor that would send alerts to both Jisung and Changbin’s phone whenever it dropped below a certain level. Changbin had also given the go-ahead for a number of tests, tests that would hopefully give the reason for Jisung’s health problems; finally. 

Causes would make management easier.

It would give Changbin something to fight anyway.

The bathroom was suffocating, not as painfully so as the hallway had been or Dr. Lee’s office, but Changbin could feel himself drowning. Desperate for some support. _Irrational. _Minho and the others were maybe ten meters from him -- but he couldn’t…

Changbin stumbled towards the corner -- into the far stall -- and shoved the door shut behind him as he slid to the floor and clawed out his phone. He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t, but he dials anyway.

It only rings once, “Binnie?”

“Hyung...I,” it’s more of a gasp than anything else. Changbin is still too tired; emotionally, physically, mentally, “I can’t...Hyung.”

“Binnie. You’re alright. Hyung is here. Woojinnie-hyung will always be here for you, okay? Take your time Binne.”

“I’m sorry...I know you have so much going on Hyung. But Channie-hyung needs sleep and, and I can’t bring Minho-hyung, they, I just,”

“Binnie, it’s fine. You can always call me. I know things are different, I wish I could change that, but you can always call me,” Woojin left no room to doubt which was comforting, “I’m still your hyung, yeah?”

That loosened something inside Changbin’s chest, let him breathe without feeling as though he was suffocating, “Channie-hyung and I are Jisungie’s emergency contacts, hyung. We have to make medical decisions...and Channie-hyung needs rest… .so I just, I have been,” he swallowed thickly, “what if I am making the wrong choices?”

“Changbin-ah, do you love Jisungie?”

“What? Of course, I do. He’s my little brother --”

“Then you aren’t making the wrong choices. You are making decisions based on his best interests Binnie,” 

“Are you sure Hyung?”

“Changbin,” Woojin was firm yet caring, just hearing him that way made Changbin miss him even more, “I am 100% sure that you are not making any of the wrong decisions. I wish I could come and help...It kills me to not know what’s going on -- not being able to help.”

“He’s stable,” Changbin blurted out quickly, “I should have said that first, he’s stable right now… his blood sugar -- everything,”

There was a clear breath being released, bring a moment of static to the phone, “that’s -- good. Jisungie is strong, Bin. Just give him some time. He’ll come around and be writing lyrics before you know it. Belting out my parts better than me --”

“Don’t --”

“It’s alright Binnie. Jisungie and I have spoken about it already. I’m glad he got them, he’s passionate and talented but not as confident as he should be. This will be a good stretch of that confidence. I think it is good for him.”

Changbin released another long breath, “I know. He has been really worried about it. Woojin-hyung?”

“What Binnie?”

“Thank you,”

“You don’t have to thank me, Binnie. Go, be with the others,” Woojin masked the longing some, but Changbin still heard it, “Update everyone. Me included. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course, Hyung. I promise.”

“I love you guys. Don’t forget that, please,”

“We won’t Hyung,” Changbin took another deep breath, “I’ll update you as soon as something changes.”

~*~*~*~

Dr. Lee was still waiting in his office when Changbin returned, typing away at the computer, and Changbin hoped that he didn’t look as though he’d basically lost it on the phone three minutes ago, “Dr. Lee, I think I am ready to see Ji now.”

“Good, just one second,” in reality it was less than a second before Dr. Lee stood up and led the way.

The intensive care wing of the hospital was quieter than Changbin expected, the few doors were open but the beds were hidden behind blue curtains, and once again he wished he was with his friends. 

“Changbin-ah,” Dr. Lee caught his attention, “now, I don’t want you to be alarmed -- he is hooked up to machines; to give him fluids, that feeding tube we mentioned, a heart monitor, etc. Those are precautionary at the moment, remember. So please try not to worry too much just yet. We just need to get him back on his feet.”

Changbin nodded silently, trying to prepare himself. He needed to see Jisung before he went back out and spoke to the others, before he called Seungmin, before they woke Chan, he needed to see Jisung. He wanted to as well, but not unconscious stuck with wires and bedding.

Thankfully, Changbin’s imagination was significantly worse than the actual image. He had envisioned Jisung void of color, barely breathing, pinned with needles from every angle, and the loud endless beeping of a heart monitor. Jisung was pinned with needles but only two in his left arm, he wasn’t pale, he was breathing regularly, and the heart monitor had been turned silent but the beats were visible; flashing in a comforting repetitive rhythm. Beside those unusual elements, Jisung simply looked as though he was asleep. The only other adornment that sent a stinging through Changbin was the slight bruise decorating the younger’s face.

“According to your friend Jinyoung-shii, Jisung-ah most likely hit a chair when he fell. He suffered a bloody nose and that mild contusion, but no other trauma.” Dr. Lee answered without being questioned, “Because of the nature of intensive care, visitation will be limited. Yourself, Christopher Bang, Jisung’s parents -- should they come -- are not restricted. However, any others will be limited to one at a time for fifteen minutes. At least until Jisung-ah is moved to a private room.”

“I understand sir, will I be able to bring them back myself?” Changbin was glad to discover that Jisung’s hand was warm when he grabbed it, “Or will they need permission?” 

“When you get back to the waiting area, Nurse Kang should have a badge for you and your friend Christopher ready. As long as you have that visible and on your person, you will be able to bring the others back without asking. But remember, this is a hospital. There are a number of reasons why you would be denied access.”

“But,” Changbin squeezed Jisung’s hand once before turning to the doctor, “but it any of those reasons were Sung -- if it was because of Jisungie --”

“You would be informed immediately. Yes.”

“Okay, thanks,” he tried to take a deep breath, he supposed it worked though it didn’t feel deep or relaxing, “uh,” he swallowed his anxious embarrassment and leaned over Jisung slightly, “Minho-hyung, ‘lix, and Hyunjinnie are here already. Minnie, Jeonginie, and Channie-hyung will be here soon too, Ji. And Woojin-hyung is asking, so you gotta wake up soon. Alright, lil bro…” Changbin paused again to regain himself, “I’ll bring Minho-hyung in next, alright? Oh, even Jinyoung-hyung is here for you Ji, I think you freaked GOT7 out good.”

Jisung didn’t react, but Changbin lingered a moment anyway before pulling back and calming himself again.

“Talking to him is good, regardless of the situation,” Dr. Lee commented kindly, not addressing Changbin’s likely damp eyes and motioned for him to follow, “Let me show you the way back to the lobby.” 

Dr. Lee left Changbin near the front desk after retrieving the two visitor passes. He attaching his own to the edge of his jacket on autopilot, then Changbin walked towards the others. Unlike the previous time, they all noticed him and watched expectedly; Jinyoung among them. 

“Jisungie is stable -- sleeping -- I need to call the others, but after that, I can bring you back one at a time to visit if you’d like,” Changbin could feel himself spinning slightly, like a stationary wheel. “I’ll go into more detail when I’m back…”

“Do you want me to call Woojin-hyung?” Minho spoke up calmly, though he certainly didn’t look calm.

“Uh, yeah -- just let him know I’ll call him later too,” Changbin looked at them, really for the first time since he had arrived. They looked fearful and ready, trying his best to sound confident he added, “Really, Jisungie should be alright with a little rest.” they were clearly skeptical, but Changbin chose not to elaborate, “I need to call Channie-hyung.”

*~*~*~*~*

Chan was surprised to be waking up, he didn’t remember falling asleep in the first place, but it was enjoyable. He felt heavy, sunken deep into the recesses of his mattress, but having actually slept felt wonderful. Even in the dark room he could make out Changbin’s unmade bed. Odd, Changbin almost always made his bed. There were scattered beams of light coming from the closed curtains too. 

“Shit!” a bottle of water fell to the floor when Chan pull the covers up with him as he moved, his brain was foggy still -- with sleep and what he assumed was something else -- but he needed to know if there was any news, “shit,” though sluggish, he still managed to escape the tucked covers -- Seungmin had done that, he loved to tuck the others in whenever he felt they needed it -- and clammer over to the closed door, “Hey! Changbinie? Seungminie? Jeonginie?”

“Hyung!” Jeongin appeared instantly, “You’re awake? You should still be sleeping it has only been a few hours,” he sounded sorrowful yet relieved. 

“Did you at least sleep well Hyung?” Seungmin came up behind Jeongin with his phone loose in his hand.

“Jisungie?”

“All we know is that he’s stable, Hyung,” Seungmin mumbled slightly.

“Changbin-hyung went to the hospital too,” Jeongin chimed in quietly, “So Ji-hyung isn’t alone at all.”

“Why did --” the question was interrupted by 3racha’s WOW -- the song Jisung set as Changbin’s ringtone for Chan following their VLive together -- blasted from the darkened room. Thankfully, Chan found it easily and managed to answer before the song really got going, “Binnie! Why’d you leave? Are you alright? Is Jisungie? Are you with the others -- is Jinyoung-hyung still there?”

“Shh, Hyung please,” Changbin shushed patiently, “I’m as good as I can be Hyung. The others are in the waiting room and yes, Jinyoung-hyung is still here,”

“Okay,” Chan waited silently for the other to continue, though he had a thousand more questions he wanted answered.

“Hyung, do you remember that thing we signed when Sungie’s parents moved away again?”

“...Oh,”

“Yeah...one of us needed to come and you needed sleep Hyung. But, if you think you can, I,” Changbin paused to breathe, “I really need you here with me. I...I don’t wanna make the wrong choices…”

“Of course Binnie. Keep talking to Hyung. I’ll get ready while you fill me in, alright? Then I’ll be right there I promise you that,” Chan had started getting ready before Changbin finished his questions, “He’s still out then?” though he didn’t look, Chan could feel both Jeongin and Seungmin freeze in the doorway, “Stable, but not conscious,” he clarified for their benefit.

“Yeah,” Changbin’s voice cracked. He cleared his throat and continued, “I made some decisions, but Hyung I need, I can’t --”

“What has been decided so far Binnie,” Chan continued with amazing levelness and listened -- outwardly impassive -- as Changbin explained all the medical decisions he had made for their younger friend. All the while casting soft smiles to the group's youngest members, both of whom continued to linger in the doorway wide-eyed, and getting ready, “Those all sound like the right choices to me Binnie. They are the ones I would have made.”

“Really?”

“Really Binnie,”

Changbin sighed, the puff of air caused static, “Okay…”

“I’ll be there very soon Bin. I’m dressed -- just gotta grab my wallet and mask, okay?” Chan glanced up at Seungmin and Jeongin, “it might be all of us at this point too, seems unfair to leave anyone behind if so many of us are there.”

“We can only go in one at a time Hyung. Besides us anyway...Maybe I should send ‘lix and Hyunjinnie back to the dorms after they visit?”

“Yeah, okay we’ll do shifts then,” 

Both Jeongin and Seungmin nodded eagerly.

“I’ll head out and you take Minho-ah, ‘lix, and Hyunjinnie in to see Ji. When I get there we’ll decide who is swapping.”

“Yeah...okay,” 

“I’ll be there really soon Binnie.”

There were a few beats of silence, before Changbin whispered hoarsely, “Promise?”

“I promise Binnie. I promise,” Chan hung up the phone and looked to the others, “As soon as they’ve seen Ji, I’ll message you both to come, alright? Apparently, he isn’t allowed many visitors. So if you do come it might only be for a half-hour or so. Alright? You don’t have to come. Ji will completely understand.”

They both nodded and Seungmin answered, “I want to.”

“Okay,” Chan was surprised at how calmly he was speaking. His breakdown just hours ago wasn’t forgotten, “and...thanks for making me rest…”

“Minho-hyung’s idea,” Seungmin smiled softly.

“Right, right. Well, I’m off then,” he smoothly passed by them, “I love you guys. You know that, yeah?”

“Of course Hyung.”

“We know,”

“Good...can you message Woojinie too?”

“Yeah,”

Chan nodded once more and was off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you all so much for reading, it means a great deal to me <3 I hope to have the next chapter up next week as usual -- but it is the holidays so it might be a bit delayed <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!! Thanks for reading!

Hyunjin wasn’t leaving. He heard Changbin’s explanation before the rapper had set off with Minho to see Jisung. He knew that Felix was likely going to argue as well -- the Aussie had felt responsible for Jisung since the first incident; a bond that frankly had Hyunjin jealous. Hyunjin also knew that both Seungmin and Jeongin deserved to see Jisung. 

But he wasn’t leaving. 

Hyunjin and Jisung had always had a unique relationship. Heated at times, sure, but at the same time, it was deep and concrete. Especially at this point. 

Over the years Jisung had stood up for and supported Hyunjin more often than he could count. Complementing his rapping, his dancing, his singing, his MCing, telling him that he was proud, that he wasn’t just a pretty boy, that he had everything to offer. Jisung was Hyunjin’s champion. Especially on the days when it was really needed. 

Hyunjin did that too. He was often the first to point out how handsome Jisung was for example. He knew that the slightly younger boy was far more insecure than he let on; far more anxious. So Hyunjin actively tried to act as much needed pillar. To make sure it was as mutual as he could make it.

Changbin had taken Felix back to visit Jisung a while ago, Minho was pacing -- Jinyoung trying to calm him down – he had been since he had returned from the back rooms, and Hyunjin was just waiting. Waiting for Chan to arrive, waiting for Changbin to come back for him, waiting for Jisung to wake up too, he assumed.

All he had done lately was wait it seemed. Hyunjin had waited to see if Chan could solve Woojin’s problem, he had waited to see if JYP would cut promotions or disband the group, he had been waiting to see their fans leave… 

“Hyunjinnie?”

The oldest of the 2000 line was standing before he even looked up and quickly wrapping his arms around Chan’s middle, “Hyung! Did you sleep well? I’m staying here. Changbin-hyung is with Ji and ‘lix. I’m not leaving. Minho-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung are --”

“Woah, woah, one thing at a time Jinnie,” Chan returned the hug tightly, “I did sleep -- I needed it, I know,” he pulled back but kept his hands on Hyungjin’s shoulders, “Have you seen Ji yet?”

Hyunjin shook his head slowly.

At the same time, Jinyoung approached them with Minho close at hand, “Channie, you alright?”

“Yes,” Chan was fast at pulling Minho into a hug while he continued to speak to Jinyoung, “Thank you so much Hyung, for everything -- I, we can’t even,” he sighed heavily sinking into Minho slightly, “I’m so sorry for how I handled it,”

“Stop…” Minho’s mumble was overshadowed by Jinyoung’s own response.

“Don’t, Channie, you would have done the same for any of us -- and I would have reacted just like you did. Though, I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better now,” Jinyoung tried to offer a bit of humor with his warm smile, “I can stay as long as you need too. My manager knows.”

Hyunjin watched the slight tension run through Chan’s body, only obvious when contrasted with Minho’s lax form, and he could guess the internal battle happening within. For all the time Chan tries to tell others to rely on him, there were very few people the Aussie would willingly depend on without thought; the two most notable people were currently somewhere in the back -- one unconscious.

“No. No Hyung,” Chan pulled away from Minho slowly and turned more fully to Jinyoung, “I can’t ask you to stay any longer than you already have, you guys have a performance this afternoon…”

“Channie,” Jinyoung grabbed onto Chan's shoulders, “Jisungie is worth whatever lack of sleep or practice happened, alright? So are you and all the others. Understood?”

“Yes, Hyung,”

“Understood?” Jinyoung repeated once more.

It took Hyunjin a beat to realize that it was directed towards him this time, “yes. I understand,”

“Me too,” Minho added quietly.

“Good,”

“Chan-hyung,” Changbin had returned with Felix close behind -- pale but otherwise alright, “I was just coming to bring Hyunjinnie to Jisung. Here,” he handed over an ID badge, “you and I can come and go as we please,”

Hyunjin knew it wasn’t fair, to be jealous of that small piece of paper and plastic. Changbin hadn’t said anything, but he wasn’t stupid nor naive. Jisung wasn’t fine and those badges highlighted just how ‘not fine’ he actually was. He could feel his face burn at the jealous pooling deep in his gut. Jealous of what? Making life or death decisions for a dear friend?  _Stupid and petty…._

“Hyunjinnie, you ready to come back with us then?” Chan asked as Jinyoung hugged both Felix and Changbin securely.

He couldn’t find the nerve to say yes, but Hyunjin nodded nonetheless.

“Hyung?” Minho started, “I’ll get ‘lixie back to the dorm, send Seungminie and Jeongin-ah.”

“Yeah, we’ll keep you posted,”

The conversation continued on for a few minutes, Hyunjin assumed that was in part due to Felix trying to argue about leaving, but he wasn’t actually listening. 

Hyunjin had been to the ICU once before, years ago when his great aunt collapsed during the holidays. She’d been sick for years, but no one had expected the sudden shift in health. He remembers the whole family -- or at the very least the local family -- meeting at the hospital in various states of disarray; he’d been in pajamas at the time, scooped up from bed by his mother. They had only needed to wait at the hospital for three hours. Three hours until she passed peacefully and left a family in mourning. Hyunjin resented her at first, then felt extremely guilty for the next ten years. 

“Hyunjinnie? You sure you’re alright?” Changbin looked concerned, “Ji would totally understand if you weren’t up to it.”

“No!” The shout was unintentional and it caught the attention of everyone else in the room, “no,” Hyunjin repeated again, more controlled, “No, I -- I’m fine, I just want to see Jisungie.”

“Then let’s go,” Chan looked better than he had that morning, of that Hyunjin was certain, but there was definitely still some lingering pain that wasn’t fully concealed.

“I don’t wanna go back to the dorms…”

“Hyunjin --”

“Jisung would never let any of us drag him away if it was one of us,”

“Hey,” Chan’s soft voice brought Hyunjin back, “no one is leaving him. I promise you that. Either Binnie or I will stay here until he’s back at the dorm with us. And he won’t be leaving us either -- so whatever thoughts you got up there, tell them to zip it, yeah?”

“Yeah...I’ll try Hyung,”

“That’s all I can ask. Okay, Binnie, show us the way to our squirrel,” Chan pitched his voice up lightening the mood just enough to bring a small smile to Hyunjin’s face. 

Changbin shook his head endearingly and started off, flashing his badge once more as he walked by the nurses station -- Chan did as well -- and leading the duo down the two wide hallways, “Just so you both know, he looks pretty -- he’s got wires and stuff; IVs, monitors, normal hospital stuff.”

Hyunjin could feel Chan’s chest move as the older spoke -- he’d wrapped his arm around the dancer for support while they walked -- but Hyunjin couldn’t make out the actual words being said. 

He felt guilty somehow like he could have prevented this if only he’d been less worried about losing their Stay and more concerned about protecting his friends -- irrational, he knew that. He wasn’t the only one who had discussed that fear. In fact, Jisung had brought it up not even three days ago as he carefully waited to see Hyunjin’s reaction to an unfinished song.

_ “Well…”  _ Jisung’s legs were bouncing restlessly, the song hadn’t been heard by anyone yet -- Hyunjin was always the first choice for Jisung when it came to this kind of project; anything he was producing and composing by himself primarily,  _“I know it isn’t finished and is probably hard to imagine with everyone’s voices and not just mine, but do you think Stays will enjoy it?”_

Hyunjin had kind of hated that question, the emotion wasn’t against Stays -- he often thought the same thing before posting pictures or helping choreograph dances -- it was how hesitant Jisung said ‘Stays’ that truly bothered him. Jisung wasn’t supposed to be insecure about anything,  _“I love it, I love everything you write Ji. All your songs feel like a puzzle piece I didn’t know I was missing,”_

Jisung perked at that a bit, _ “I’m really glad you like it Hyunjinnie. It means a lot.”_

_ “But,”  _

_ “But,”  _ Jisung had drawn out the word slightly, it echoed around the empty practice room. Neither were supposed to still at the company, Jisung had interrupted Hyunjin’s dance -- a good thing in retrospect, his knees were starting to hurt -- it was surprising how much a room like that echoed when it wasn’t filled with nine -- eight -- grown men, _“will Stays like it? Will the Stays that stay like it?” _the second part had been much quieter. A thing both knew to be a forbidden question in so many ways -- unspokenly forbidden mostly for Chan’s benefit.

_ “Of course they will, Ji. Your songs are so personal and deep, Stays would be silly not to at least respect them, but I bet they’ll love them. Just wait! If I’m wrong, I’ll buy you something yummy and wear something embarrassing to the airport.” _

_ “What, don’t wear something stupid to the airport! You’d hate that,” _

_ “It’s a good thing I won’t have to then ~” _

“ -- fine. He just needs to wake up soon is all,”

Hyunjin caught the last of Changbin’s explanations when they entered a room on the left. He would have froze there in the doorway if not for Chan’s arm still tight around him.

“Oh, Ji,” the breathy exclamation from Chan would have been missed if not for the close proximity.

Hyunjin didn’t think Jisung looked too bad, better than he had that night in the practice room, he looked like he did when they roomed together. Except with wires, and beeping, and tubs, and liquids, and --

“Hey Hyunjinnie,” Chan was suddenly blocking his view of Jisung, “Hyunjinnie, it’s alright. It will be alright.”

“I need,” Hyunjin was aware of the irrational nature of his sudden need to see Jisung, and he did feel guilty for pushing past Chan. Especially, when his leader was just trying to stop him from panicking. But he needed, “to see him! He has to be alright!”

“Hyunjinnie, you need to calm down or you can’t stay back here with him,” Changbin warned grabbing ahold of Hyunjin before he could launch himself any closer, “Everyone back here is sick Hyunjinnie. A lot of them are sicker than Sung.”

“But -- I need,”

“And I’ll let you when you calm down a bit,”

“Changbinnie is right,” Chan was in front of him again, using his sleeve to dry up tears Hyunjin hadn’t been aware of, “If you want to stay with Jisungie -- to stay at the hospital tonight -- I need you to calm down. It’s not good for you and it’s not good for him.”

Hyunjin sagged against Changbin and nodded, “I, he can’t,” he took a shaky breath, “Can I see him now?” 

The second he was no longer restrained, Hyunjin maneuvered around his two older brothers and quickly found himself sitting as close to Jisung as he could without hurting him, “Okay Sungie,” the words were tight and quiet, Hyunjin’s hands felt the same as he moved to grab the slightly younger’s free hand, “it is way past time you woke up for us. I don’t plan on moving until you do either.”

There was a short conversation behind him, but Hyunjin stayed focused. Up close Jisung didn’t look as peaceful as he’d first thought. He was a bit pale, gaunter than he should have been too.

“We’ve all been kind of out of it, haven’t we?” Chan’s question didn’t need an answer and he really didn’t leave any time for there to have been one, “Sungie what am I supposed to do with you? We really gotta figure this out… I can’t take much more of it.”

Hyunjin stayed quiet, he felt as though he was intruding on something -- intruding on 3racha. The fact that Chan and Changbin were currently in control of Jisung’s medical decisions alone spoke volumes about their relationship. Jisung could’ve had one of their managers, even one of the other members' parents take on that role, but it had been Chan and Changbin who were chosen. The other members had been vaguely aware of the situation, or at least Jisung’s falling out with his parents, but none of them had thought it had been to this extent. 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever let you out of my sight again after this Sungie,” Chan’s voice cracked midway and Hyunjin couldn’t watch any longer.

“None of us will Hyung,” Hyunjin had turned back to Jisung’s face, the younger seemed to be almost scowling for a moment before the muscles relaxed again, “we’ll put a leash on him,”

“Yeah, handcuff him,” Chan’s voice was wet, “Hear that Sungie -- no freedom ever again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will likely be slightly delayed as things pick back up after the holidays. Thank you all so much for reading <3 <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH I am so late.....Sorry... things have been nuts.... Thanks for reading <3

Jeongin wasn’t a child. He was the youngest and the others did often know more than he did -- they had experienced more struggles, had seen more things, encountered more things -- but he wasn’t a blank canvas. He had his own fears and problems. Before they had debuted, before it was announced that they would be a group of nine and not seven, Jeongin adamantly hid those fears and struggles. The others knew of them, of course, they did, but he didn’t want to open up to them in that way. 

As time went on Jeongin started to share more, a lot more. Starting soon after rumors started spreading. Shared out of desperation. But even then, some things were kept inside. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the others, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to share things, it was just he didn’t know how. 

Jisung had taught him. Jisung was a good listener; he didn’t just hear what was being said, he understood it. 

Jeongin had thought he was being a good brother too. Had thought he was doing a good job reminding Jisung to check his blood and take his medicine. He had thought he was doing enough. 

Except Jeongin was asleep when Jisung collapsed, he’d fallen asleep even before Changbin even left the studio, he was asleep when Jinyoung called, all the way right up until Chan’s shouting.

Jeongin hadn’t even noticed Jisung wasn’t in the room at that point either. 

He had failed in just about every possible way…

“Minho-hyung is bringing ‘lixie back, I guess Hyunjinnie is having a hard time leaving, but once Hyung is back with ‘lix we can go if we want to,”

The slight edge to Seungmin’s words felt almost abrasive but Jeongin responded as though he wasn’t bothered by them, “I want to…” Thankfully, he sounded confident.

“Alright -- I mean, me too… I’m going to go get dressed then. Since Hyung will be back soon…”

“Oh, yeah, me too,” Jeongin had forgotten all about the pajamas he was wearing. He waited until Seungmin disappeared before moving toward his room; his and Jisung’s room. The latter’s bed was made, untouched. None of 3racha had been spending much time at the dorms since Woojin’s departure was announced to them -- really just a few minutes here or there, an argument, a shower, a spoonful. The three had been mostly absent.

Jeongin hadn’t noticed that either, not until the perfection of the bed struck him as unusual. Jisung doesn’t even make his bed like that, all neatly tucked and smooth, Jisung just pulls the covers up; lumpy, sporadic.

Woojin had been the person to make Jisung’s bed last -- a thing the oldest would do from time to time for all the members, but most commonly for the three producing members. Jisung hadn’t slept in his bed since Woojin moved out of the dorm.

Almost a week and a half ago.

The new surge of guilt was far more painful than the last, and Jeongin almost gave in to it. Almost decided then and there he’d stay hidden under his covers and just wait for everything to go back to normal. Back to the new normal, anyway. Almost.

Instead, he pulled a pair of clean jeans from his drawer, one of Jisung’s large colorful sweatshirts from the standing closet and left the room without a second glance.

When Minho arrived with Felix, both Seungmin and Jeongin were ready -- outwardly at least -- to leave.

Only a few words were passed between the four; mostly Minho’s attempt at comforting and Felix’s desire to go back to the hospital.

Jeongin stayed quiet, allowing Seungmin to fill -- whatever void he felt needed filling, until the two entered the hospital waiting room. Which was far more crowded now. So much in fact that a nurse was waiting for them, and quickly brought them to a more secluded area where both Hyunjin and Changbin were waiting.

Changbin’s troubled eyes and Hyunjin’s red ones pulled at something inside Jeongin, sending him over the edge he’d been carefully avoiding since that morning. 

*~*~*~*

Seungmin was at a loss for words -- finally -- at Jeongin’s breakdown. As horrible as it sounded he was grateful. 

Ever since Seungmin had opened the door that morning and heard Chan’s emotional conversation with Jinyoung, he had been unable to quiet himself. Internally, externally, emotionally, physically -- he just couldn’t be still or silent. Calling Woojin helped, calling their manager helped, calling the cab helped, fixing drinks, doting on Chan, answering the questions, everything helped a bit. But only in the moment. The second the phone call ended or the bed was tucked in the uncomfortable static returned. 

But somehow Jeongin silenced it.

“Hey Jeonginie, it’s alright? Sung will be fine, don’t you worry,”

Seungmin watched blindly as Changbin latched onto Jeongin, Hyunjin stood as well though he remained relatively quiet too simply mumbling, “Chan-hyung is with him right now. We can’t be in there for more than fifteen minutes at a time.”

The sudden calm was short-lived, “Only fifteen minutes? That is so short -- can’t we at least get a half-hour or something?” Seungmin heard himself mutter over Jeongin’s quiet cries, “fifteen is too short to tell him that we are there, or to share details of the day, or to --”

“We can go back in later Minnie,” Changbin hushed over Jeongin’s shoulder, “And Chan-hyung is trying to negotiate a private room -- but he needs to make sure he has the funds to pay for it before confirming. Regardless,” he pulled away from Jeongin enough to look him in the eyes, glancing between Seungmin and their youngest, “Channie-hyung and I can be there all the time. We won’t leave him alone.” 

“But,” Seungmin hesitated a second, “the rest of us can’t be there...and we should be there,”

“And we will, but we have to follow the rules Minie,”

“Oh good, you guys are here,” 

Seungmin was surprised to see that Chan looked more awake than he had just a couple of hours ago -- more awake and more steady -- it was comforting. The youngest of the 2000 line had been fearing the worst. Fearing that at the sight of Jisung, Chan might lose it entirely.

Like he had that morning.

Seungmin had seen Chan in a variety of emotional states. Many of which had been elation, but there had also been a number of painfully sad and upset moments throughout the last few years. However, never had Seungmin seen Chan so far gone until earlier that morning. 

It was scary. Chan was supposed to be strong -- unbreakable -- but that wasn’t what Seungmin had walked in on --

“Minnie? I asked if you wanted to go first?” 

“Oh,” Seungmin tried to pass off his surprise as exhaustion but could tell that Chan didn’t buy it, “Yeah, I’d like that Hyung,” that was what was expected of course, he was expected to want to see Jisung. But Seungmin wasn’t completely sure he did. Just like he wasn’t completely sure he appreciated seeing Chan so vulnerable earlier; it was a facade he didn’t know if he wanted to see broken. Except this was Jisung. “I’m just a bit,” he faulted slightly. Jeongin was still crying behind him and Seungmin was sure neither he nor Changbin could hear what he was saying, but Chan certainly could and Hyunjin was there too, “afraid I guess. I mean, I’m not -- I just -- I,”

“I was frightened too, Seungminnie. But I promise Jisung won’t look as bad as you think -- and, he’d understand if you wanted to stay out here instead.”

“No, I do want to see him,”

“I,” Jeongin’s voice broke, “can go first if you’d rather Hyung.”

“Yeah...yeah, alright.” 

“I’ll take Jeongin-ah back then,” Changbin was already pulling their youngest away from the two 2000 liners and Chan as he spoke, “We’ll be back,”

“What --” Seungmin paused and shook his head, “nevermind,”

“Hey, no ask your question, Minnie,”

“The answer is ‘no,’” Hyunjin disregarded Chan answering Seungmin’s unasked question with conviction, “The answer is, yes he will wake up. No, he won’t die. Yes, he will be with us again. No, it wasn’t your fault or anyone else’s,” Hyunjin’s voice wavered but he continued, “Yes, we will be able to help him. And yes...I want a hug now.”

*~*~*~*

Chan was waiting near the entrance of the VIP waiting area impatiently, he’d left Jisung alone -- Changbin had fallen asleep in the waiting area with Hyunjin early in the evening and Chan wasn’t going to wake them up, he had managed to convince both Seungmin and Jeongin to head back to the dorm a few hours ago, and by some miracle (bribery) convinced Felix he could come back first thing in the morning -- reluctantly, but he had to show the way to Jisung’s room.

Jisung, who had shown signs of waking but still remained unconscious. A thing troubling enough that his doctors refused to move him to a private room yet despite Chan having the money for it, which continued to limit the number of visitors. 

Chan sighed quietly. The day had been long and frustrating. He watched everyone break down, everyone cry, everyone be utterly lost, and had been entirely incapable of helping them. He continued to watch Jisung basically lifeless in that stupid hospital bed. 

“Finally,” Chan straightened up, pushing himself off of the wall he had been leaning on. He glanced around carefully, so far the media had not gotten wind of the situation and he really hoped that would continue, before calling out softly, “Wooj, I’m glad you are here.”

“I’d of come earlier but Seungmin was adamant that I stay back,” 

Woojin looked like Woojin -- _obviously _\-- but his hair was shorter and dark, his skin was clear of makeup, the mask he wore was plain white. He was Kim Woojin, a guy you might pass on the street and not give a second glance -- he wasn’t Woojin, lead vocal of Stray Kids. But Chan pushed back the sting of that, “Yeah, I warned him about that...we are trying to keep things quiet if we can...I’m sorry…”

“None of that Channie,” Woojin grabbed Chan’s arm and pulled him farther into the secluded waiting area, “I get it, I do. It is just frustrating not being able to be with you guys,” he stopped them short of the first row of chairs, “You look like shit Channie…”

“I feel like shit, Wooj. We didn’t even notice...Jinyoung found him Woojin...we didn’t even fucking know…”

“Hey --”

“What if Bam Bam and the others hadn’t been practicing? We’d be fucking burying him,” 

“Chan --”

“I’d be burying him,” Chan’s voice was strained, “my J.One -- my maknae…”

“Chan. Stop, please, just stop. You’ll get through this alright,”

“How do you know that?”

Woojin smiled, “Cause I am older than you. I have more wisdom,”

There was a lot more Chan wanted to say, but instead opted for showing Woojin to Jisung’s room, “He hasn’t woken up yet. I haven’t told the others, but the doctor told Changbin and I just how bad this is -- if he doesn’t wake up really soon, I mean…”

“Yeah, Binnie told me,”

“He did?” Chan felt a flash of warmth and betrayal suddenly erupted within.

“Yeah,” the steadiness of Woojin’s voice calmed Chan some, “he called once this morning while you were resting and then once more a bit later. He wanted you, but felt he couldn’t wake you up -- you scared him Channie. I bet you scared all of them. But I think you worried him more than anything. Binnie is used to you being a bit immovable,”

“We argued last night too…” Chan spoke softly, but he knew Woojin heard it, “Anyway, here is Sung’s room… I’ll, uh, wait here, outside...but it can’t be long and I don’t know how long Binnie and Hyunjinie will stay asleep either.”

“If they catch me, they catch me,” 

Chan knew all too well that Woojin was hoping to visit without anyone knowing -- 

_“It’ll be too hard on them Channie. They are already struggling -- I wouldn’t even ask if it wasn’t for Sungie. You know that?”_

_“They can handle it Woojinie, but that is your decision. I’ll be here to let you in if you do come,”_

_“When the others leave....message me?”_

_“Of course,”_

_“You promise?”_

The uncertain pause before the question had bothered Chan, hurt him somehow, but he’d agreed, “You only have fifteen minutes I’m afraid…”

“That’s all I need to tell Sung that I’m here,”

Chan watched Woojin go through the open door and approach Jisung, before crouching down against the wall. He’d give Woojin his moment with Jisung and he’d take that moment for himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter -- there will be more in this series coming up in the future. Thank you so much for reading, hopefully, it is still enjoyable.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is so delayed!! I know...I'm sorry... Please enjoy and thank you for reading <3

Felix arrived at exactly six in the morning. He should have waited until Chan messaged him, or at the very least told someone -- maybe left a note for Minho -- before leaving the dorms. But that hadn’t been a part of the deal. No, the deal was that he would be able to be by Jisung’s side first thing in the morning and there was no way Felix was letting any second slip by without a fight. Plus, he hadn’t slept well.

How could he? Chan wasn’t there, Changbin wasn’t there, Hyunjin wasn’t there, Woojin wasn’t there, and of course, Jisung wasn’t there -- who could possibly sleep when over half of your family was at the hospital. Or _just_ half of them…

The nurse at the information station had shown him the way back to the VIP section without too much hassle, though Felix did have to pull up a couple of YouTube videos to prove who he was -- vowing to never forget his ID again.

The first thing Felix noticed was Changbin and Hyunjin molded together in the far corner seemingly deep asleep. There wasn’t anyone else in the small waiting area, except for the receptionist beckoning him forward. 

“I presume you are here for Han Jisung?” the middle-aged man questioned as soon as Felix was close enough to hear, “I took the liberty of printing a picture of your group so we didn’t always have to bother you all for ID. I can show you back if you’d like. Your friend Christopher is, or was, sleeping back there last I checked.”

“Yes, please. I’m Lee Felix by the way,”

The man smiled and stood, casting a glance to the other sleeping members and adding, “They have been out since last evening -- slept through your friends visit and everything. Anyway, come along then. Since you are here so early, I won’t time your visit -- but if someone asks you to leave --”

“I’ll leave right away sir. I promise,”

“Goodman,” the man led the rest of the way in silence and simply motioned Felix into the room before turning back around.

He’d been right about Chan, their leader was indeed asleep. Awkwardly slumped over in the guest chair face smashed up against Jisung’s body and free arm resting on the younger’s waist.

Chan was the only one asleep. Much to Felix’s surprise and elation.

“Hey ‘lixie,” Jisung’s voice was soft, but not weak, he had one hand running through Chan’s untamed hair and was almost sitting up -- at least as much as the pillows would allow. He still seemed far too small to Felix, “morning,”

At a loss for words, Felix quickly moved the short distance -- already feeling the tears gather in his eyes -- and carefully pulled Jisung into a hug without disturbing their sleeping leader, “Ji --” swallowing thickly he continued, “Does Channie-hyung know? How long have you been awake? Gosh, you scared us…” Felix could feel Jisung frown against his chest when his voice cracked but didn’t pull away.

“He was asleep when I came to and I didn’t want to wake him up,” Jisung’s breath warmed a patch of Felix’s sweatshirt as he spoke, “It was five-ten or something when I check.”

“You should have woken him up or called the nurse,” Felix squeezed his eyes shut tightly, “you were alone for more than a half-hour…” feeling Jisung’s scoff against him was comforting, “What if something had happened Sungie?”

“‘Lix...this is a hospital,”

“I missed you,”

“Hmm, Felix?” Chan’s mumble was sleep latent, disorientated, “You’re here already? ‘Lix, what time is it?”

“It’s a bit past six Hyung,”

Felix had never seen Chan snap awake so fast. He jerked up, nearly pushing the chair into Jisung’s heart monitor, wide-eyed and already crying, “Sungie,”

“Morning,”

Felix was pushed slightly, though not fully off of Jisung, he ended up with one of Chan’s arms around him while the other had shoved itself between his chest and Jisung’s shoulder.

“You’re awake…”

“Yeah, but you should still be sleeping,” Jisung managed to sound pouty even with his face squished between the two Aussies, “I was very careful about not waking you up…”

Felix could feel Chan try and respond, could feel his back tighten with an intake of breath and pause briefly before exhaling. He could feel this happen three times before Chan finally spoke, “I should page your doctor, get you to a private room, wake up Changbin and Hyunjin, call the others,” he sniffed and pulled out of the hug marginally, “How are you feeling? Dizzy? Numb? Do you hurt anywhere?”

“Channie-hyung,” Jisung sighed out with a whine, “I wouldn’t have let you sleep if the answer to those were ‘yes.’ I’m just, I don’t know, heavy I guess. Achy too, but only a little. Now, hug me again.”

That request was met quickly -- this time Felix dodged enough to allow Chan to fully wrap around Jisung, “I’m so glad you’re awake Sungie...I can’t even tell you…”

“I can stay with him while you go get the doctor or call the others,” Felix knew he could have volunteered to do those things too, but he wasn’t ready to let Jisung out of his sight just yet.

The guilt, which he was sure the others were also feeling, had pooled heavily. It started to the moment Felix realized what Chan had been crying about, and even seeing Jisung couldn’t empty it. He had always been the one most affected by that first incident in the practice room -- probably because he was the one that caught Jisung. The one who some claimed saved his life.

“_You might have saved his life Felix-ah. I know Jisungie’s head is thick but,” Changbin tapered off quickly still blinking somewhat blankly at the polished linoleum floor and the half-empty juice box they’d been forced to take, while Chan handled a phone call, “so, like, don’t be upset about anything...we all owe you.” Changbin paused again. Finally adding under his breath, “I know I do…”_

Except Felix never felt that way. Never felt like he had saved Jisung from anything, not really. He should have known before everything had happened and prevented it all -- but that wasn’t useful, thinking that way wasn’t useful.

“‘Lixie, shut your brain off and cuddle with me…” Jisung pouted playfully tugging on Felix’s sleeve, “Hyung’s gone and I’m cold now.”

Felix hadn’t seen or heard Chan, but apparently, the older Aussie had listened.

“‘Lixie?”

“Yeah, yeah, so needy,” Felix was careful to not hit any wires nor the spot on Jisung’s lower chest where the monitor was supposedly still residing, and climbed into the bed with him, “We haven’t even had a discussion. No serious topic -- premature cuddles.”

“With you? Never premature anything,” Jisung snuggled into Felix’s side a bit before mumbling, “I’m sorry. I guess I really need to tell each of you that, I just...I don’t know. Completely forgot,”

“Ji --”

“No, really. It’s scary ‘lixie. I totally forgot about it. Right up until the very end I swear I had no clue,”

Felix could feel the legitimate fear flowing from Jisung, he was shaking slightly, “Ji I --”

“Absolutely no idea ‘lix. It was like the practice room except no one was there and I knew,” Jisung paused and gripped tightly to Felix, “I knew I was dead ‘lixie. I knew it!”

“Jisung you aren’t --”

“I knew it, Felix. I knew it! And I knew Chan-hyung would find me,” he was dissolving slowly, “he’d find me and he’d just fought with Bin-hyung and,”

“You gotta calm down Ji Ji, your heart monitor is beeping like crazy,”

“And then Chan-hyung would have to tell you all and, and Binnie-hyung would blame him,”

“No, he --”

“He would!” Jisung squeezed Felix’s arms in emphasis, utterly distraught, “he would, because they’d just been fighting and then Chan-hyung came home -- and he would and it’d be my fault,”

“Sung --”

“And then --”

“No,” Felix quickly covered Jisung’s mouth, loosely, just enough to get him to stop. His skin was warm and tacky, “Ji, you are fine. You didn’t die. Chan-hyung didn’t find you that way. Okay? Stop thinking about those things,” the idea of that alternative made Felix feel ill, “We’ll never let it happen again.” Felix removed his hand slowly, “ever.”

“You don’t know that...any of that....”

“I know that none of us are gonna let you alone for a while. I know that Binnie-hyung loves Chan-hyung just as much as he loves you. And,” he leaned into Jisung some more, cuddling the way they would sometimes after a scary movie, “I know that worrying about ‘what ifs’ isn’t helpful -- it’s just gonna hurt you. Someone once taught me that, you know? Someone who is about forty percent squirrel and --”

“Only forty!?”

*~*~*~*

“Maybe forty-two,”

Chan could hear the tired but still indignant reply from Jisung and tried to smile at the sound, but the conversation he’d overheard was still painfully present circling around his head.

He’d been returning to tell them that Jisung would be moved to a private room within the hour and that Felix needed to leave so the others could come in, he’d been elated -- truly elated -- for the first time since he failed to keep Woojin. But hearing Jisung say that he ‘knew’ he was dead, ‘knew’ that it was inevitable, and then spiral into how Chan himself would have reacted to it. That cut past his happiness sharply.

Because Jisung wasn’t wrong. Chan would have been the first to the studio in the morning. He’d have gone in not even knowing that Jisung never returned to the dorms.

The worst part was that Chan could see it too, he could see the entire scene in his head, how everything would play out.

“Hyung?”

Chan flinched at Changbin’s unexpected near-silent question.

“Are you alright? Do you need to sit down? Did something happen with Jis --”

“No, no Binnie. He’s fine. I’m fine,” Chan nodded more to himself than anyone else, “I’ll grab ‘lix and send Hyunjin in -- did you call the others?”

“Yeah,” Changbin nodded skeptically, “They are on their way and Seungminie said he’d call Woojin-hyung. Why don’t you stay with Ji and I’ll get ‘lixie, huh?”

“Uh, yeah sure. That works too,”

Changbin didn’t say anything else and took the two short steps Chan couldn’t take moments before, “Sungie~ if you ever do that again I’ll destroy everything you hold dear in life,”

“Wah~~ But that means destroying ‘lixie!”

Chan walked in as Jisung said this and watched the younger dramatically wrap himself tighter around the other Aussie.

“And yourself!” his hand almost struck Felix in the mouth as Jisung sprung a finger out to point at Changbin accusingly; hissing as it tugged on a cord, “you can’t do that Hyung.”

“Be careful Sung!”

“Watch what you are doing!”

“Are you alright?”

Both Chan and Changbin had reached Jisung quickly to check on the IV needle -- Felix having already restrained the limb carefully -- which was still in place.

Jisung’s wide eyes caught Chan’s attention quickly, “What is it Sungie?”

The bed-bound boy shook his head slowly, eyes still comically wide, “Nothing,”

“Come on Felix-ah, we gotta let others see Ji and let the doctors move him to that new room,” Changbin transitioned, already untangling the sunshine twins, “Once Ji Ji has his own room we can all stay as long as we want to.”

Felix was resistant but eventually allowed himself to be manhandled.

“Message me when Ji has his own room, Hyung,” Changbin spoke as he ruffled Jisung’s hair fondly, “So we can bug him into submission,”

“Love you too,” Jisung called out.

He looked exhausted, and that hurt Chan. Everything seemed to hurt Chan at the moment. Everything cut, everything burned.

“Hyung?” Jisung’s arm was still being held by Chan -- though he was quick to release it when the younger spoke, “I’m really sorry. You know that don’t you?”

Chan could feel his throat close up as he tried to speak, tried to say that Jisung didn’t need to be sorry for anything, but he really couldn’t.

“I didn’t mean to make you worry...I really didn’t...it just got ahead of me and then the next thing I knew I was falling and --”

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a shitty leader and friend over the past couple weeks!”

The outburst silenced Jisung instantly, leaving his mouth open mid-word, “What?”

“Some of this is my fault Jisung -- most of it -- I don’t know, all of it. Binnie was right last night,” Chan continued to speak, ignoring Jisung’s attempt to protest, “he was. I’ve been locked up and preaching about being there for each other but I haven’t been anywhere but in my head. Just, stop apologizing. Please.”

Whatever Jisung was going to say next was interrupted by a knock on the wall behind them, “Hello Jisung-ah. It is very good to see you awake and alert -- you gave your friends a bit of a nasty scare I think. I’m Dr. Lee, the doctor who was on call when you were admitted.”

“Nice to meet you, sir,”

“He’s been awake for a while, I’m not sure exactly how long. He decided not to wake me up, otherwise, I would have called you immediately,”

“It’s not a problem Chan-ah,” Dr. Lee easily dismissed the concern, “The nurse was aware, but felt it best to wait. Jisung is fine -- as you can see -- I’m going to exam him briefly; take some blood, explain the monitor to him, etc. And then he’ll be moved to that private room you asked for,” the older man’s warm smile was comforting, “So, Jisung-ah, how are you feeling? Any dizziness, or shakes? Confusion?”

Chan watched carefully, mostly for signs he might be lying, as Jisung shook his head, “No, not really. I was confused at first, but it made sense once I saw Chan-hyung sleeping in the chair -- so, not really. Sore I guess.”

Doctor Lee hummed reaching into his pocket, “That’s understandable, you took a bit of a fall. You have some bruising along your ribs and face from it. Look at this light for me please,”

“What are you checking for?” Chan didn’t mean to sound so tense, but his question sounded high strung.

“Concussion,” Jisung responded before the doctor was able to, “I’ve been through this before,” the nonchalant tone lessened the tension in Chan’s shoulders significantly.

“Yes, checking for a concussion,” Dr. Lee parroted as he pulled back, “All clear on that front as well, by the way. Now, what about pain around the new monitor?”

“Oh, uh, this thing?” Jisung awkwardly motioned to the slight bump under his shirt, “it’s a bit sore yeah. I bumped it earlier and it kinda hurt some.”

Doctor Lee hummed quietly, “I think that is likely more related to the bruising than the actual device, but I’ll make a note and keep track of it while you are admitted, alright?” he turned to Chan, “Currently, the alerts are sent to Jisung-ah’s, Changbin-ah’s, and your phones, correct?”

“Yes,” Chan quickly glanced down to Jisung, who looked marginally confused, “it sends updates about your blood sugar levels to us. We can change it so it is just sent to you...if you want that?” his hesitancy must have been glaringly obvious because Jisung was quick to brush that idea aside.

“No, I think there should be at least a few people notified -- at least as long as I need to wear this thing,”

“Well, that answers my next question,” Doctor Lee, chuckled kindly, “We have a good idea of what the underlying cause is for your hypoglycemia, but we are going to need to get another sample and send it off to a lab to get confirmation. I’d like you to have that monitor on at least until we can get a response from them.”

“Okay,”

Chan easily recognized that look, the schooled one Jisung gave when he needed to seem in control. That look normally meant his anxiety was sky high and he was overwhelmed, “you’ll be alright Jisungie. You are in great hands.”

“That you are,” Doctor Lee repeated, “Your friends have been very thorough -- keeping me on my toes. Anyway, the nurse will be in shortly to get that blood sample and then you’ll be moved to that private room. Given how many visitors you have had, I’d imagine by then the room will fill shortly.”

“Thank you very much for everything doctor,” Chan immediately responded, “It really means the world to us, knowing that he was being looked after so well.”

*~*~*~*~*

Changbin was antsy. Felix bouncing impatiently beside him and Hyunjin fluctuating between joyful desperation and emotional fear probably intensified that feeling. As did seeing Chan breakdown -- for the second time in two days -- just outside of Jisung’s room. Chan didn’t get like that very often, granted Changbin also knew that Jisung wasn’t admitted to the hospital very often either.

“You sure he was alright? Binnie-hyung? Like awake and talking?”

Hyunjin had been asking questions like that nonstop since Changbin had reentered the waiting area; the repetition wasn’t helping his nerves either.

“Awake, joking, and smiling Hyunjinnie,” Felix thankfully answered.

“If you are really sure…”

“Completely sure Hyunjinnie,”

“Okay,” Hyunjin sounded anything but convinced and even through his growing -- unjustified -- aggravation, Changbin knew he couldn’t blame him, “I just want to see him, you know, make sure.”

“I’m sure we’ll get to really soon Hyunjinnie,”

Thank god for Felix, Changbin carefully released a deep breath, “Don’t worry Hyunjinnie,” he spoke softly trying to relieve the tension in his neck and shoulders by rolling his neck from side to side, “Channie-hyung is gonna stay with him until Ji is moved into that private room and then all of us can visit and stay as long as we want to. You just have to be patient.”

“Can we see him yet!?”

Seungmin’s unexpected voice caught Changbin off guard.

“Seungmin, you can shout this is a hospital,” Minho chided as the group approached Changbin, though he quickly added, “but can we?”

Changbin nearly snapped -- he wasn’t sure if it was his own fears and anxieties or if it was exhaustion. He even took a deep breath and opened his mouth to tell them off, then he saw Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Felix exchanged glances like they often did back at the dorms. 2000 line’s ESP Jisung had called it. Changbin’s rage deflated at that thought, dissipated just as quickly. Normally, it was Jisung who noticed his anger and it was Jisung to scurry off and inform the other 2000 liners.

“Not yet Minho-hyung,” Changbin managed level, “Soon though. Jisung was just gonna be checked out and then moved to a different room.”

Jeongin asked something, Felix answered, then Minho spoke, Hyunjin questioned, Seungmin repeated the question, and then Changbin tuned them out. He’d left Jisung quickly. Far faster than he’d wanted to because it was clear Chan needed time, but the longer he waited out here -- the longer he listened to the questions and the rising excitement and apprehension -- the more Changbin wished he’d stayed back there a few seconds longer.

He really wanted to apologize.

Not that Jisung would accept it of course, but Changbin still wanted to apologize. He shouldn’t have acted like a child, shouldn’t have argued with Chan, should have been a better hyung and known something was wrong. Or, at the very least, he should have demanded Jisung leave with him.

That was the real thing that kept jabbing Changbin’s gut. He’d screamed about caring for each other, screamed about Chan’s lack of self-care, he’d shouted, yelled, accused, the works. Yet he hadn’t cared enough to make Jisung come with him.

Changbin had no right to yell at Chan when he also couldn’t see what was going on around him. “I should probably apologize to him too…”

“You say something, Binnie?”

“Oh, no Hyung. Just mumbling to myself,”

Minho didn’t seem to buy it, but didn’t press either, “I asked the receptionist, she said they were just getting Sung situated and that Chan would be out to get us in a couple minutes.”

Changbin was relieved when it took Chan less than one, he was also thankful to see Chan smiling and slightly flushed rather than so sullen.

“Wow! Everyone is here already?” Chan even sounded at ease, “Well come on then. Jisung is waiting impatiently -- the doctor said he has to be here another couple days at least, so he isn’t too pleased.”

“You sound pleased though,”

Changbin snorted quietly at Sungmin’s remark, glad for the normalcy.

“Jisung is entertaining when he’d pouty,”

“Don’t tell him that Hyung,” Minho faked disgust, “we’d never see anything but if he knew,”

Beside him, Felix laughed warmly and behind him, Changbin heard Hyunjin snicker. Those sounds relieved the remaining tension.

“You guys took for-ev-er!” Jisung stated the second the door opened, already opening his arms for Hyunjin -- who’d darted passed the others.

“You’re lucky it wasn’t a nurse,”

“You look so much better,”

“How dare you scare us like that,”

“I called Jinyoung-hyung too. He’s gonna stop by after their concert if he can,”

“Have you eaten, yet?”

“He just woke up, Hyunjin -- of course he hasn’t eaten yet.”

“You never know Seungmin,”

“Hey Ji?” Changbin found himself easily speaking under the sudden chaos.

“If you apologize, I’ll kill you,”

“Ya! Brat!”

“Hey, no hitting! I’m on my sickbed,” Jisung’s dramatics went unnoticed -- or uncommented on -- by the others, “but --”

“Ya! If I can’t you can’t,” Changbin carefully pulled Jisung into a tight hug then, “how about we are even?” he whispered slowly, “no apologies, but also no guilt allowed?” he smiled slightly when Jisung nodded.

“Guys! This is still a hospital!” Chan’s voice covered them and the room silenced, “Now, we have all been cleared to stay the night -- if we want to -- and they’ll bring in a few cots for us, but it’ll be tight. Ji Ji has to be here for at least a couple days -- his doc wants to run a couple tests.”

“I’m staying,”

“Yep!”

“Me too,”

Changbin, who was still wrapped around Jisung, could feel the younger struggle a bit so he squeezed tighter, “I’m not going anywhere,” the statement was more for Jisung than the others.

“I’m scared Hyung…”

Despite the chatter around them Changbin still heard, “I know. Me too,” they all were, “but we are in this together Ji.”

Changbin could feel Jisung pause -- pause to find his own resolve, pause to wait for the volume to increase again, “You won’t leave though? Will you Hyung?”

“Sung, even if I left -- I wouldn’t leave you. Understand. I have no intention of leaving; none of us do. But even if we did we wouldn’t be leaving you,” Changbin said it as firmly as he could -- as honestly as he could. “I won’t leave you, Sung. I promise, okay? But only if you promise me too.”

Jisung didn’t say anything, but the nod was enough for Changbin.

“Hey! Binnie-hyung you can’t hog my Sungshine~” Felix whined as best he could.

Changbin squeezed once more, waiting for Jisung to relax -- signaling he was ready to face the others again -- and then pulled back with a dramatic eye roll, “yeah, yeah.”

Felix easily took his place, pulling Seungmin with him and adding Hyunjin along the way.

“You good Binnie?” Chan was watching everything from the wall near the door.

“Yeah Hyung. I think so,”

“That’s all I can ask for,”

“Idiot,”

“Hey!”

“You know I love you, yeah?” Changbin managed to ask as he joined Chan on the wall.

“I do. And I love you too,” his leader paused briefly, “I think we’ll all be okay. Once things settle. I think we will be.”

“Yeah, me too Hyung. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! This fic was really hard to get through. It was rolling easily -- then my apartment was broken into and I had all that to deal with, then the move, then the holidays, then adjusting to my longer commute... I'm sorry if the quality went down and for the somewhat lacking schedule. 
> 
> There will be another story in the series -- though it will not be the next fic out. Much love and much thanks <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> Good? Bad? Horrible? Angsty? Thanks for reading <3 <3 Have a great weekend!


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